angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (AM inc)
And then Tuesday is my last day.

Seven days?

Feb. 8th, 2010 08:32 pm
angelicmobster8: a well manicured hand with a large ring tightening a lace on the green shoe (Shoe)
Well, no one gave me any notice, but the internship people came to town and we had a little meeting. Turns out my internship may end 2 days earlier than I thought. Not sure how that makes me feel. I will not be training another intern, which is fine, but I've been freaking out about it for a while.

Not sure how I feel about all of this.
angelicmobster8: shot from a scene in queen of the damned, surprised lestat, text says w.t.f? (WTF?)
But I understand, some crazy stuff happened yesterday.

Then, on top of that the previous intern/receptionist called and was all "Find this for me, and fax it all now" (sort of). My boss said he could wait. Ha!

The other previous intern came in yesterday also.

It was a stressful afternoon, and Monday will be crazy. I walked home.

Ugh, had another dream set in highschool. I could not get my lock on my locker open, and people were treating me like shit. I gave them a peice of my mind and left them all with their jaws on the floor. Still, it was a stressful dream. I do not want to dream about highschool!
angelicmobster8: shot from a scene in queen of the damned, surprised lestat, text says w.t.f? (WTF?)
So, at the beginning of the month, I have to print out about six and thirty reports. All together, they are about an inch and a half thick.

I managed to do this months rather quickly, and gave it to my boss on Tuesday morning. She goes through them, makes notes and gives them back, then I distribute copies. I call it the Monthly Massacre of Trees, since we use so much paper. Anyway I have to do it before the weekend, because many of them get updated over the weekend and the ones I printed out will end up outdated.

She has still not given them back. Today is a busy day, especially since the receptionist and the woman who becomes the back up receptionist when the first one is gone, are both gone. Even if she does give me back the reports today (will probably be at 3pm and I will proceed to freak out and miss my afternoon break), most people probably will not see them until Monday, when they are outdated.

I was hoping she would give them to me yesterday, instead she told me to print a bunch of stuff off of a website, and it ended up being three inches of paper. It better get used. We do recycle here, but that's still a huge waste.

Ugh, the internship people are supposed to be coming here soon, I hope it's Tuesday morning so I don't have to sit through the two and a half hour meeting. A meeting that was supposed to take place today.

Anyway, not many people in the office today. And a lot of the ones who are, are in the lunchroom livin' it up and eating cookies.

Last night, I started watching a movie called The Sentinel from 1977. It's not really good, but it has a bunch of people I love like: Christopher Walken, Eli Wallach, Chris Sarandon (though with a moustache that does not work on him), José Ferrer, etc. Anyway, it's about this model to goes to live in a lovely New York apartment, and it just so happens to be the entrance to hell. The city looks very good in this movie though, usually it doesn't in horror movies.

No Day off

Feb. 4th, 2010 12:34 pm
angelicmobster8: black and white photo of cherries (Cherries)
I don't get Family Day off. That's too bad. I could get a lot of work done at home. Or just watch movies all day.

I've been sleeping much better than usual lately. I've still been waking up to turn over, but fall asleep much more quickly. The only problem is that I wake up maybe a half an hour before my alarm goes off.

Beowulf is a lot more easy to understand than Paradise Lost. It's probably taking me so long because I'm not really into this epic poem thing. I still want to read The Divine Comedy.
angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (Schmee)
My horoscope for the day: "Expect a big challenge to come from below today. That could mean a kid, an intern at work or almost anyone else, really, but if you handle it well, you can turn them from annoyance to ally." AN INTERN!? What was that supposed to mean. Why blame the intern?!

Had to make about 15 phone calls today. I hate my phone voice. I hate phones. Two is the number of times I had to talk with an asshole. Then when I phoned one number, it made strange chirping noises at me. I thought "How dare you!?" Two of the numbers did not work, which is fine with me. Had to leave messages about five times. Ugh! My voice getting recorded?

For the most part though, it has been a swell day. I just wish that time would go by faster. At least until 4:30.
angelicmobster8: picture by horst p horst with corset wearing women with her back to the camera (Horst)
With applying for school. I will not be going in September. At least I didn't pay. Maybe I'll take night courses instead. I don't care if they take longer, and I think they are cheaper. I did not have any of this crap really planned out, because I didn't think I would be here. Ugh.

I know I should ask about getting my internship extended if they do not find another intern in time. Even if one came in next week, I do not think I could train them in two weeks. The last time I did anything close to training, was probably grade seven when we went to the kindergarten classes to help them with their reading and writing. I think I did a horrible job. That poor little girl is probably as illiterate as a glue gun now because of me.

I went into my bosses (boss'?) office yesterday and she said something like "You only have two weeks left" and smiled. I didn't mention anything about the lack of a new intern, nor did she. So I'm starting to think that she doesn't care if she is without an assistant for a while, as long as I'm gone. I'm very paranoid, but I really do not think she likes me at all. Ah well. I'm just going to see where the path leads. Or something.

Had a crappy dream set in highschool last night, even though I haven't been in highschool for about a year. Will these highschool dreams go on forever? At least I haven't been dreaming about falling or getting raped.


Jan. 29th, 2010 10:16 am
angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (Ghost)
Next week, I will have 15 work days left of my internship. They have not found an new intern, so my stay here may be extended. I would of course say yes, but decided to make a pro/con list anyway. Well, it’s actually a pro/pro list, since I don’t really make pro/con lists and messed up on it.

Pros of Staying:
1. More money
2. More experience
3. Feeling of security, I don’t have to go job hunting
4. More time away from Cockroach, as she works afternoons. So right now, for the most part I only see her on the weekends.
5. Magazines and office supplies, I’ll let you decide what that means
6. Makes me feel useful, I am less likely to try and hurt myself if I have responsibilities, though see #8 in below list
7. Could lead to other employment opportunities, the intern before last stayed as a receptionist for a few months and now works in another district
8. Gives my life structure, I sometimes get freaked out if I do not have a plan
9. Get to read more Daily Lit

Pros of Leaving:
1. Less crying, hopefully
2. More time to get things done, I keep putting things off until the weekend, and then I never do them
3. No more monthly appraisals or doing other things that being in intern entails. If this were a normal job, no one would give a shit that I don’t eat my lunch in the lunchroom.
4. Sleep in and stay up later, at least until I get another job or start school. I don’t really sleep in much anyway. Usually never past 8:15
5. Eat better, I think I’ve lost weight since I’ve been here as I’ve been crying in the mornings and can never get a decent breakfast in or forget to make some kind of lunch
6. Less sitting at desk doing nothing, see #9 in above list
7. Less time having to take the bus, walk (added to that, less time coming in contact with creepy dudes) or bother Drunkard for a ride, which means saving money also. Until I find another job or start school.
8. Some people here make me feel utterly useless
9. Can get away from fluorescent lighting, at least until I find another job or start school

When I wrote these down, the “Pros of Leaving” list was much larger, but I omitted a few for being either stupid or pathetic. I am totally messed up with this. I don’t want them to find another intern because I want more money, but then I hope they do because I am not at all happy with many things.
angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (Eye)

Yesterday started out nice, but then I did something stupid which led to me being locked outside of my house for a half an hour in my cold wet yard in my slippers. Would have been okay if I could have remembered certain phone numbers and not have looks like such an idiot at the corner store. A woman helped me break into my own house, it was bad how easy it was.

Used to get locked out of the house all of the time when I was little. Because I'd come home from school and didn't have my own keys. Can't ever remember it happening in the winter. Although at least when I got locked out when I was little, I had proper shoes and clothes and something to occupy my time with. Ugh.

When I got in I started crying because I was scared someone had seen and got the idea in their head that they should break in one day and kill me (etc).

Then this morning I started crying because my alarm clock went off 15 minutes early. Or something, I was quite distraught.

Sometimes I think I might be bi-polar, but I'm not sure if these outbursts are severe enough. Maybe it's just because I'm nearing the end of this internship.
angelicmobster8: shot from a scene in queen of the damned, surprised lestat, text says w.t.f? (WTF?)
So apparently the receptionist does not have enough to do. They are taking away some of the things I have been doing and giving it to the receptionist. Ugh. I have way more nothing to do than the receptionist. Ugh.

I have finished 18 novels, novellas and short stories on Daily Lit since I started working here. Ah well. But it was nice to have something to do that got me up and away from this desk. To get the circulation in my legs back perhaps. And I want to smash something into the fluorescent light directly above my head. But then glass would of course fall into my hair. Ugh.
angelicmobster8: a well manicured hand with a large ring tightening a lace on the green shoe (Shoe)
I think the problem in this office is a poor lack of communication. I want to quote Cool Hand Luke.

Mar and I are going to the movies tonight. We had birthdays last month, so I'm paying for the movie she wants to see (Avatar) and she's paying for the movie I want to see. I wanted to see The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus but it's only playing at Silver City and she doesn't like driving there. So we're seeing Sherlock Holmes. Perfectly fine with me.

I'm only typing this to pass time because I want to get out! Of here!

Had to make a new resume and cover letter template (or something) for my internship coordinator. The resume was easy, but I always have trouble writing cover letters. I get writers block when I'm forced to write about myself.
angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (Johnny Christ)
I am not too fond of getting blamed for things here, and at home. Sometimes when it happens here, I start thinking "Holy crap, maybe I did do it."

Watched an Orson Welles movie called "The Trial". There's a part where Anthony Perkins is telling someone about how when he was in school, when the teacher was pissed off about something and was looking for the guilty party, he started believing it was him. Or something, I am horrible at explaining things.

Anyway, it's a weird movie and you should see it if you like weird like me. A lot of movies from the 60's were weird because they were getting more experimental and didn't have to censor as much. Also I think the writers and directors were all trying out drugs.

Off topic. I think I have a complex. There must be a name for it.

Ugh X 1000

Jan. 6th, 2010 03:13 pm
angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (Eye)
Even though I have actually cried at this place, I don't want to leave. Because I'm making good money, and I don't feel like looking for another job. Ugh. I hope they don't find another intern.

The intern before me came in today. I hope they don't expect me to visit after I am finished. I'll bring doughnuts the Monday after, but that's where I draw the line. I don't want to come in if they aren't payin' me!
angelicmobster8: black and white photo of katharine hepburn, text says i'm still here (Katharine Hepburn)
36 more work days left until my internship. Unless they have trouble finding another intern. Part of me wants to stay because I'll get more money and wont have to find another job. Part of me can't wait until it's over because I feel like shit stuck to a wheel of a car. Or something.

It is also my birthday today. Nineteen. Bleh.

I am SO glad that this decade is finally over. Usually I don't care about New Years, but I hate this decade! 2000 is when things started getting crappy for me. Well, most of the things could have been prevented by me, but I'm blaming the decade.


Nov. 19th, 2009 10:56 am
angelicmobster8: black and white photo of katharine hepburn, text says i'm still here (Katharine Hepburn)
61 days left of my internship.
angelicmobster8: black and white photo of katharine hepburn, text says i'm still here (Katharine Hepburn)
70 more days left of this internship. It's nice to be making money, but ugh. It the world does end in 2012, it wont be so bad, as I only have the next two years planned out. I have no idea what I'll do afterwards.


Oct. 26th, 2009 10:43 am
angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (Schmee)
Halloween is coming up, here are some horror movies I want to see, in no order:

1. Suspiria (1977) - I also want to see Dario Argentos other movies.

2. Hills Have Eyes, The (1977) - I didn’t like the remake, but I heard the original was very good.

3. Halloween (1978) - They never show this on tv, only the sequels and remakes, what is up with that?

4. Hitcher, The (1986)

5. Les Diaboliques (1955)

6. Faust (1926)

Since Friday, I have felt like shit because I did something so stupid. There are about 79 days left of this internship, I can't wait.
angelicmobster8: black and white photo of katharine hepburn, text says i'm still here (Katharine Hepburn)
Haven't been posting much lately. Ever since I started here, I never feel like doing anything. I don't even fold my clothes anymore. So tired. Every week I keep saying to myself: I'm going to get shit done this weekend! It rarely happens.
angelicmobster8: illustration of a pig in a heart (Piggy)
On the way to work I saw some Graffiti Knitting on two bike stands.
angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (Eye)
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I'm mostly okay at this current job. To be honest, I have cried several times since I've come here. This week, I've cried maybe four times or more. I'm good at hiding it though, it's just when I run out of tissues it's a problem. I am making money though, and that's what is important. And it's not a permanent job.

What I don't like, it when people do not let me in on important things, see post a few posts ago. But it's good for me to have somewhere to go for nine hours, five days a week. I will not end up in the hospital again if I have responsibilities and feel guilty for not dealing with them.

Yes, I believe in people getting dream jobs. But I am neither ambitious or patient, so I will settle for what I can get.

As for having a plan for the next five to ten years, I'm not sure. I would be twenty-three to twenty-eight then. I only have the next two years planned right now.


angelicmobster8: a heart shaped candy saying a.m. inc. (Default)

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