angelicmobster8: (Shoe)
Again, some of these are older because I let them pile up.

Articles and What-Not
Short Films and Docs

Other Videos
Other
angelicmobster8: (Ghost)

  1. Camp X-Ray (2014) *

  2. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2015)

  3. Iris (2015) *

  4. The Great Muppet Caper (1981) It was odd seeing Charles Grodin sexually harass Miss Piggy

  5. Dead Man (1995) Meh. I need new glasses, I kind of liked Johnny Depps in this movie.

  6. Irma La Deuce (1963) Not as slut-shamey as I anticipated. But the whole pimp thing is still messed up.

  7. Under the Skin (2013) * This was a part of the Book Riot Read Harder challenge, read the book and watch the movie. TW: for sexual assault

  8. Who's That Knocking at My Door? (1967) I don't know how I feel about this movie. It was all trippy and experimental. TW: for rape/victim blaming/slut shaming

  9. Ex Machina (2015)

  10. Selma (2014) * Directed by Ava DuVernay

  11. Splash (1984) I thought I saw it when I was little, but I dunno. Meh tbh.

  12. Two Can Play That Game (2001)

  13. The Daughter of Dawn (1920) *

  14. Tangerine (2015) *

  15. Beasts of No Nation (2015) *

  16. 5 Flights Up (2014)

  17. A Patch of Blue (1965)

  18. The Beloved Rogue (1927)

  19. I Will Follow (2010) * Directed by Ava DuVernay


* - Watched on Netflix. Canadian Netflix is kind of bleh, they don't even have a lot of Canadian movies. There are SO many good Canadian movies.

My sister and I couldn't really do the Great Digital Film Fest. Her schedule is messed up and my health is messed up. We were sad about Labyrinth. We went to see these three movies:

  1. Big Trouble in Little China

  2. Ghostbusters

  3. The Thing


In other news, turns out I'm anemic.
angelicmobster8: (AM inc)
This and this reminded me of a short story I once read. It was about a woman who lost her son to cancer and her marriage became strained. She developed breast cancer and had to get both of her breasts removed. Her husband made her feel disgusting and they got a divorce. She was in the closet and only married the guy because her family coerced her to. So she became a sculptor and fell in love with a stripper. She had a phoenix tattooed to her chest. I wish I could remember the name of the story.

That second link has messages from women who felt less like women after surgery, because their husbands were freaked out by the scars. It's so sad.

This one reminded me of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick. I liked it, but every female character had her boobs described. It was annoying.
angelicmobster8: (Horst)
I think I'm going through what I went through last Autum/Winter, in regards to sleep. I have been sleeping extremely well this summer. I slept through storms and fights on our street. I haven't had many bad dreams.

Last winter, I realized most of my bad dreams came from difficulty with breathing. I realize now, some of it may be sleep apnea. Whenever I sleep on my back, I sometimes have trouble breathing, and that leads to nightmares. Some are fine and entertaining in their way. Some are not. Whenever I had a dream about Harpy, it would end up with me screaming and crying and then I would wake up gasping for air.

I used to sleep on my stomach, and I kind of miss that. For some reason, I can't do it now. I usually sleep on my sides and sometimes on my back. There's a lot of wierd shit going on with the left side of my body, so it gets sore quickly.

Anyway, the last few nights haven't been as horrible as last winter, but ugh. I keep waking up at three like I used to and bleh. Done with this entry,
angelicmobster8: (WTF?)
I half-awoke to find myself grinding my teeth. I couldn't stop until I woke up completely. It was so freaky.

Happy Canada Day!

No Day off

Feb. 4th, 2010 12:34 pm
angelicmobster8: (Cherries)
I don't get Family Day off. That's too bad. I could get a lot of work done at home. Or just watch movies all day.

I've been sleeping much better than usual lately. I've still been waking up to turn over, but fall asleep much more quickly. The only problem is that I wake up maybe a half an hour before my alarm goes off.

Beowulf is a lot more easy to understand than Paradise Lost. It's probably taking me so long because I'm not really into this epic poem thing. I still want to read The Divine Comedy.
angelicmobster8: (Eye)
Ugh.

Yesterday started out nice, but then I did something stupid which led to me being locked outside of my house for a half an hour in my cold wet yard in my slippers. Would have been okay if I could have remembered certain phone numbers and not have looks like such an idiot at the corner store. A woman helped me break into my own house, it was bad how easy it was.

Used to get locked out of the house all of the time when I was little. Because I'd come home from school and didn't have my own keys. Can't ever remember it happening in the winter. Although at least when I got locked out when I was little, I had proper shoes and clothes and something to occupy my time with. Ugh.

When I got in I started crying because I was scared someone had seen and got the idea in their head that they should break in one day and kill me (etc).

Then this morning I started crying because my alarm clock went off 15 minutes early. Or something, I was quite distraught.

Sometimes I think I might be bi-polar, but I'm not sure if these outbursts are severe enough. Maybe it's just because I'm nearing the end of this internship.
angelicmobster8: (Eye)
[Error: unknown template qotd]
I'm mostly okay at this current job. To be honest, I have cried several times since I've come here. This week, I've cried maybe four times or more. I'm good at hiding it though, it's just when I run out of tissues it's a problem. I am making money though, and that's what is important. And it's not a permanent job.

What I don't like, it when people do not let me in on important things, see post a few posts ago. But it's good for me to have somewhere to go for nine hours, five days a week. I will not end up in the hospital again if I have responsibilities and feel guilty for not dealing with them.

Yes, I believe in people getting dream jobs. But I am neither ambitious or patient, so I will settle for what I can get.

As for having a plan for the next five to ten years, I'm not sure. I would be twenty-three to twenty-eight then. I only have the next two years planned right now.
angelicmobster8: (Shoe)
Before I went into the hospital, I stepped on a peice of glass. I don't think the doctors at the hospital paid much attention to my foot, because I think there might be a fragment left in there. Last night there was a sharp pain in my foot. I don't care so much about the pain, but it seems like the world keeps trying to remind me of a big mistake that I made.

June 2-9

Jul. 10th, 2009 02:39 pm
angelicmobster8: (Ghost)
Okay, so I think I'm ready to talk about the hospital. Or at least how it was like, though I'm omitting some parts about how paranoid I was. Not what happened before I went in.

This lady put sticky things on me, it hurt when I pulled them off, and they left marks that were hard to wash off. I was in a ward where the beds were separated by curtains. I heard a lady in the next bed get an enima, it smelled. I was too drowsy to be freaked out though. There was a bandage on my foot where I had stepped on glass, and a bruise on my knee, don't know where it came from.

Then I went to another ward where my bed was in a room with a woman who I didn't see much of. I was too drowsy to do anything, and the nurses kept changing and asking me the same questions. My watch was set at the wrong time for a whole day, and I slept through dinner, and a nurse thought I had skipped it. The beds were so uncomfortable, I didn't want mom to bring me an extra pillow like other patients had their families do. In the second room, the light over my bed creaked a lot. It freaked me out, but if it fell on my head I could have gotten money, so I didn't tell the nurses.

The first three days were blurry, because I was so drowsy. I wasn't allowed by clothes for three days, so I had to wear the clothes I came in (pajama pants, tank top, and robe), and also my sneakers which had blood in them. They let me have clean underwear and socks. There was a girl who was there longer than me, and had to wear a hospital gown and pants the whole time I was there.

The view from my window was of a roof, but it was peaceful and I liked it. It was also sunny. My roomate left, and I had the room to myself for a night. But they moved me into a room with another woman. The view was of Oulette, and reminded me of bus rides to school, so I didn't like it. I did see more of this roomate, she seemed like a bitch.

There were sessions I could have went to, but I missed most of them. I only went to two. Visiting hours on weekdays were 6-8 pm, and weekends were 1-6 pm. On the weekend I was allowed to go outside, but only for a half an hour at a time, and my mom and I had to go back up and sign in and out. But it was still nice to get out of that place. Weekends were horrible, because there weren't any sessions for me to waste time in, but at least there weren't many people in the ward.

I cried when I woke up in the hospital, and didn't cry again until the third day, the day I was supposed to leave. The doctor (who I now have to see once a month, and he seems like an asshole) told me he was keeping me there, so I cried a few hours later. I cried a few other times, because of paranoia, I won't say why. Then I cried again on the day before I left because I was happy.

I didn't really talk to anyone. A creepy guy talked to me a lot, so I avoided him. I talked to a women who was very nice, but I wont go into detail about her.

I was only there for a week, but it was still horrible. My mom came to pick me up at 10 am, and we rushed to pack my things as if I was escaping. In the hospital (I may have posted this before) it felt like a weight was on my chest, and it was hard to breathe because there wasn't real air. Not to mention the constant surprises coming from one woman, but out of respect, I won't say anymore on that subject. As soon as I got home, I took a proper shower and I washed the clothes and things that I had brought into that place.

A neighbour said "It's nice to see you awake", which means neighbours might have seen what happened. Which depressed me. No one else has said anything else though, which is good.

Tingly

Jun. 26th, 2009 11:22 pm
angelicmobster8: (WTF?)
I don't know if it's a side effect of the medication, but whenever I get surprised, my hands get tingly. It's a jolt of tingles, or something. I dunno, it's weird.

June 15

Jun. 15th, 2009 11:36 am
angelicmobster8: (Singer)
I've been very tired, but at least it isn't like the kind of tired I was in the hospital. That was an unbearable kind of tired. It felt like someone was holding onto my heart, or my heart was made out of lead. I dunno, my chest felt heavy.

It was also hard to breathe, because there isn't any natural air in hospitals. Maybe they should have oxygen lounges on each floor.


The other night, I heard "C'mon C'mon" by the Von Bondies being played live. It was across the river (I think), but it was so clear. I don't know why I mentioned this.
angelicmobster8: (Katharine Hepburn)
Was in the hospital from the 2nd to the 9th. Don't feel like going into details, but here are some things:

1. I would never want to be a nurse. They have to do all of the work and in scrubs, while doctors get to wear tailored suits and look at nurses notes. I only saw my doctor for maybe 10 seconds a day, except on the last day. I know they're busy, but I still feel sorry for nurses.
I actually heard "Witch get away!"

2. I think I was almost recruited by a pimp. Or maybe I'm just paranoid, because on the 1st I watched Gardens of the Night. If you decide to watch it, it was good. But very hard to watch.

3. I heard a woman getting an enima the first day I was there. I was very drowsy, but the sound and smell will forever haunt me. I wish I could have sent her something.
angelicmobster8: (Horst)
They seem to be gone, but I never know. It's kind of mean how stress can induce things that stress you out even more. Like hives that are only itchy when I'm trying to sleep. So if I didn't have the things that cause the stress, but still had the ones that were caused by stress... I'd still be a tired, itchy, shaking mess with bad skin.

Ugh.

One thing that creates some major stress in me, which I would like to beat with a baseball bat: Cockroach. She makes me feel so violent.

April 16

Apr. 16th, 2009 01:11 pm
angelicmobster8: (Piggy)
It's weird that Cockroach is now obsessed with a living guy. I'm scared she's going to stalk him. She thinks he's the reincarnation of King Tut.

April 9

Apr. 9th, 2009 12:56 pm
angelicmobster8: (Default)
My uncle died yesterday. The same day that one of my other uncles died. That's weird. I hope it was peaceful. Well, he had a stroke and died in the hospital a few hours later.

Whenever I think of someone dying in a hospital, I think of the HBO movie Wit. I hope they aren't surrounded by asshole med students w/ crappy bedside manners. No offence to med students.
angelicmobster8: (Schmee)
There's a strange bruise on my leg, I have no idea where it game from. I keep thinking that it's some alien organism that is imbedded under my skin. When I poke it, it moves! Not really, but I'm going to have my doctor look at it, because it's green.

Once my stomach gurgled, and it sounded like a pigeon. So I had a dream that a bunch of doves burst out of my stomach.
angelicmobster8: (Horst)
[Error: unknown template qotd]I would give someone my uterus and ovaries for free.

Dec. 8

Dec. 8th, 2008 06:52 pm
angelicmobster8: (Katharine Hepburn)
I think I'm getting an ulcer. I am not 100% sure what an ulcer is, but it sounds like the right word.

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